Ten Components that Empower Independent Teenage Thinking - Part 2 | Sibylle

I hope that you are enjoying this blog series so far. Following the first blog post, here are the next five components of the Thinking Environment for teenagers.

Encouragement

“Giving courage to go to the unexplored edge of our thinking by ceasing competition as thinkers.”

Are you encouraging another to go to the cutting edge of their independent and freshest thinking?  Or are you in a silent competition with them and afraid that they may know better than you? 

Here I need to ask myself daily, am I really encouraging my son to think for himself of am I exuding “mom knows best” out of every pore as I listen to reply and/or interrupt?

Tip:  Consciously drop the sense of knowing that your thinking is better than the thinking of another.

Information

“Supplying facts, recognizing social context, dismantling denial.”

Is your mind open to a wide variety of information? Or are you gathering information that proves your point of view? 

Back to my son, do I listen to learn and gather information, or do I simply know it all? Just checking.

Tip:  Notice your confirmation bias and broaden sources of input. The more information you gather, the more accurate your thinking will be.

Difference

“Championing our inherent diversity of identity and thought.”

Are you able to listen to different and diverse opinions with curiosity and interest, or is your mind shutting off?

I often catch myself straight out in disagreement with my son instead of adoring and appreciating all that matters – the human being in front of me. 

Tip: Staying open to difference in opinion not only supports the thinking in another, but it also supports and widens your horizons and with that the quality of your actions and results. 

Incisive Questions™

“Freeing the human mind of an untrue assumption lived as true.”

An incisive question “replaces an untrue limiting assumption with a true and liberating one and connects it to the desired outcome.”

I promise to notice my son’s assumptions and to engage his beautiful mind with open questions rather than solutions. 

Tip: Behaviour is based on assumptions and many of them are simply not true. What untrue and limiting assumptions are blocking you from your desired outcome? 

Place

“Producing a physical environment – the room, the listener, your body – that says, ‘you matter’.”

What else can you put in place before your next virtual or face to face meeting so that the people arriving feel that they do matter? 

In terms of my son, what else can I think of during times of online schooling to ensure that my son feels he matters? That his body housing his brain matters? To ensure that all my attention is on him, without me ‘doing’ anything.

Tip: The component of place does not require a 5 Star venue. Attention to detail is key as well as always keeping your eyes on the thinker.

Nancy Kline says that getting even one of these Ten Components right encourages independent and conscious thinking in another. Behaving in this way will also improve communication and relationships at home and at work. I promise you that much.

And who knows what else my son will think.  Just the other day he told me that he thinks it may not be a good idea to go on holiday with friends during the 3rd wave. I did not say “I told you so” but he sure made me smile. I sure am curious as to how much further he will go in this independent thinking.  And I cannot wait to hear what my friend Lara thinks about all of this.

As an accredited Time to Think coach and facilitator, I teach and run the four Building Blocks; Thinking Pairs, Dialogue, Rounds and Open Discussions of the Thinking Environment™ as well as the three applications; Transforming Meetings, Presentations and Council. For more information, you can visit my website.

Quotes by Nancy Kline, The Promise That Changes Everything, I Won’t Interrupt You.